why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state." I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map." Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time." A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them." A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever." A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express." A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

自从新的一年得到了一台iMAC 后，我就充分利用了失眠的好事光, 努力的学习了各种工具及娱乐软件的使用。过去的一周，基本上是学习及娱乐的一周。充实。 鉴于好不容易搞定了plex，于是以看高清为主了。 review： 最好看的电影：You don't mess the Zohan! 极其搞笑的电影,已经能够达到下流的水准了。淋漓尽致的让我仿佛回到了15年前首次看到周星池同学的电影那种痛快暴笑的感受。 最不值的电影：赤壁下。原因不说了，虽然场面大，也不能除此之外一无是处啊。还是电影院看的，我错了，同时还有马达加斯加2，我应该看马2的。 最怀旧的：在大硬盘里，有瑞士电视台录制的高清版奥运开幕式，第一次看到电视版，确实大多数画面比现场看要震撼，一些细节也是才明白的。 最温的电影：梅兰芳，适合中老年人观赏。除了第1节，可算是主旋律纪录片了。 其他： 非诚勿扰＋桃花运，2个小品电影，前者男性角度+精美广告，后者女性角度＋传统道德主题思想。适合放在一起看。我又错了，电影院看的非诚勿扰，应该也看盗版碟的。 2 & a half men，还是那么好玩，多少季了，最爱的美剧之一。顺带记一些快忘了的单词，学习娱乐两不误的好工具。 Desperate Housewives, 不如以前的好了，失望。尤其是Gaby变成臃肿的胖妞妈。。。。不好！ Gossip Girls, 非常有趣的青春故事，我打算看下去了。 Mad Men，怎么看怎么那么有现实意义呢，光辉的60年代，不是一般的精彩，强力推荐呢。 闲来无事，重温了马达加斯加1和功夫熊猫1，真逗啊，最好的抵御寒冬的娱乐。

 所以，我要是有个1000万，我就啥都不想，先买套三四百万的公寓，在北京，按照一平米2万5到3万的价格，也就是150平米，三四环边上，二环附近的，没戏。剩下的钱，咱再买套差不离的二手房，不为别的，就为吃“瓦片儿”，如果再有富裕，就买保险买股票再弄点旱涝保收的理财产品，然后差不多了吧？一千万该花完了吧？

 有了恒产，衣食不忧，咱想工作，咱就工作，不想工作，咱就谈恋爱，或者咱就搞沙龙，每天睡到中午，到下午两三点的时候，咱纠集一帮有趣的有闲的哥哥姐姐叔叔阿姨，咱谈艺术！晚上，咱有约会就约会，没约会咱再纠集一帮好逸恶劳的兄弟姐妹喝红酒尝雪茄搞搞创意——看着好的合适的情投意合的咱就两情相悦一下子，没有，咱就看庭前花开花落，天上云卷云舒，到了晚年，咱变卖家产盖一养老院，写好遗嘱，把咱这一辈子没糟践完的钱财全部赠送给曾经爱过俺的男人——但有一条件，得他们自己写申请，在申请上得自己拿出爱过俺的证据。咱遗嘱律师认可了，公示了，无异议，才有效。

 呵呵，变态吧？有钱人都变态，咱要是没点怪癖也对不起一千万不是？